How do you know you’re in love with someone?
To answer this question I’m first going to break down the word love. Understanding the word love is very important in my case I’m going to explain my love for my mother. I love my mother unconditionally there is nothing anyone can say to me that will make me feel differently about my mother. My love for my mother is definite because it will not change, sure events and circumstances can happen that might alter or even change the type of relationship I have with my mother but the love will always remain.
When will you know that you really are in love?
Loving a partner or being in love with a partner is far more than just sex. It’s one of the reasons why I commonly tell people to really try to get to know your partner before committing to them. Do you they match well with you can you tolerate them and can they tolerate you. When times get really tough how do the two of you react to one another’s company? Remember that tough times are not just financial ones they’re also family based like children for example suppose you and the person you claim to be in love with have problems with you child do you have a strong enough foundation not to let that get in the way of your love for one another?
Suppose you and you’re partner can’t have children will your love for each last, would either of you be interested in adoption or any or all alternative options. What I’m getting at here is how strong is the base of communication between you and this person you apparently love. Can the two of you talk about anything or can’t you? Is one person contributing more to the relationship than the other and if yes is the other partner comfortable with this arrangement. What I’m getting at is try not to confuse infatuation with love.
Pure Infatuation verses Unconditional love
Infatuation is short term love and my personal belief is that most couples become an item mainly because of infatuation. Infatuation is usually caused when two people find something about each other that they like so much that it blinds them to their partners other qualities. As an example I will use characters John and Sally, John finds Sally’s pretty face and large breasts very attractive so much so that he’s not interested in really getting to know who Sally really is. Now Sally on the other hand likes John because to her John seems like a good listener not only that but John’s physical appearance resembles some qualities of her late father.
The story goes John and Sally have some amazing sex for several months, they meet up several times a week have lots of fun together but that’s all they do. They never really ask questions about each other’s behavior. Sally knows that John likes to drink but she doesn’t investigate how much. John on the other hand knows that Sally is a model and an actress but he doesn’t know how important her acting career is to her. To make a long story short the two decide to get married and move into together still stuck in their own patterns.
They live in Arizona and Sally wants to move to California to pursue her acting career. John on the other hand is comfortable in Arizona and besides he has a great paying job and he hates Los Angeles, John refuses to move and demands Sally stay there with him. Sally agrees, with all this time spent together Sally starts to recognize John’s drinking problem, sure she knew he drank but she never realized how much. She thought he only drank when they went out or sometimes before they had sex. Seeing John drinking all the time Sally starts to question John’s judgment. John had never been one to back down from an argument he’d argued with his younger sisters and in his mind he won every argument.
So the two start fighting and slowly but surely more and more problems they could have looked into before marriage started surfacing, then suddenly John loses his job. Sally had looked at John the same way she had looked at her late father, as a provider. But now John was unable to provide, Sally than started thinking about how she had put her acting career on hold for this troubled relationship. Plus in her mind John wasn’t doing enough to find himself another job. Sally had enough and told John she’s leaving him John already depressed losing his job didn’t argue and the two split forever.
Are you really in love?
There are times when couples get married knowing little about each other and have successful marriages, but those cases are very rare especially in secular society. What I’m getting at is don’t let pure infatuation make you think that you’re in love with somebody. Unconditional love is a powerful force; it gives couples the ability to look at some what complicated scenarios as simple ones that they can work out together. Unconditional love between lovers cannot exist if there’s no communication or if there’s no understanding. There are things that Husbands do better than their wives and there are things that wives will do better than their husbands.
There’s also the issue of space and giving your partner the space he or she might need during a particular situation and this important issue must be a mutual understanding between partners. Obviously there must be trust and respect between lovers. These combinations should inform you if you can be in love with someone. Remember falling in love is a choice people make, they say love is blind so if you decide to fall in love make sure it’s with the right person.
Investigate and talk to your partner when problems arise look at them as opportunities that the two of you can learn from. Pay very close attention to love interest and pay very close attention to yourself and draw your own conclusions. Doing this many people realize that they themselves are not ready for a serious commitment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with infatuation the problem only occurs when you confuse infatuation with love.
Remember Infatuation is short term Unconditional love is long term, so find out as much about your partner as possible before deciding to fall in love with them.